Weddings

…where I can get good food. (veere zidd apni)

Writing this one after attending lots of marriages. Yes, I still am in search of weddings. Have you visited any close one? Because when it ends, it feels like school days after vacation. You know, returning back to your routine where you have to listen to your boss, or your teacher, or your patient, and you feel like nothing’s going right. Yes, obviously you’re not meant to deal with bad situations for all days and for whole of the day; you’re meant to have a gulabjamun after completing an assignment, but instead what you get is another assignment for your lonely selfless night.

               

If it’s your marriage, you’ll definitely feel like Kalindi (Kareena Kapoor Khan) from Veere Di Wedding. I accept that the movie was super duper bakwas and there was nothing in the story. But girl! I loved the characters. What they felt like or how the actors performed didn’t matter. Plot is not realistic but obviously how can it be? It is Bollywood. So looking towards the character only; it’s well shown that she thought it happened too fast or something happened that shouldn’t have. Every person before the marriage may think, “I think I proposed too early” or “I think I won’t be able to handle a whole new family”. For others it may be the festival, but for them it’s like a war. A big battle they are fighting with own self and I don’t know why but they never come to any side till they’re at the wedding hall ­­– well-dressed. Why does the bride have to look back at the door to find her hero so that she can run with him and why does the groom have to stand in front of the mirror for the first time in his life just before the ceremony!? I would like to ask, is that pressure the same as an exam pressure or much more than that or nothing at all compared to it?

Let’s have some info:

There are 8 types of marriages in Hindu Dharma:

1.       Brahma Vivah: girl’s father asks boy. Dowry system.

2.       Prajapatya Vivah: boy asks girl’s father. Happily get married.

3.       Daiva Vivah: Father impressed by boy. Gives daughter as a gift.

4.       Rishi Vivah: Rishi asks King. King gives Princess and cows for Rishi’s life.

5.       Gandharva Vivah: girl and boy like each other. Run away to get married.

6.       Rakshas Vivah: girl is ready. Kidnapping her with/out her permission. Then they get married.

7.       Asura Vivah: boy gives money to buy girl.

8.       Pishacha Vivah: forcible marriage.

And thank your God that in 21^st century, most of you are not dealing with all of these tensions. Your only thoughts are: she’s also getting married, I’m not getting any husband, I will be forever alone, food should not have to be bad!

Honestly, this movie does not deserve much attention but obviously ‘Love Breakups Zindagi’ does. Half of the movie is in wedding ceremony and you would love to watch how little conversations with unknown ones attach us. You would be surprised to see how family is so important; not that we are together for the ceremony, but they’re with us as our backbone. It’s amazing how bride’s maids are there all the time with the bride, handling her, in selfishness of having good pictures in the album. Believe it or not, but when the family with wedding ceremony thinks that they have to deal with people’s critics and should spend (read: waste) more money, they don’t know that people don’t come there actually for looking at their happy life but for being a part of their happy life.

Weddings are always about celebrating the feeling that you have. By dancing. By singing. People must understand that weddings should not make you tiresome. Don’t take so much stress that you can’t even enjoy your own ceremony. Don’t attend weddings if you don’t feel like it. People like me who criticize food should not pass comments to everyone. Be a part of happiness. Enjoy. Cry the tears of joy. At the end, listen to the Shehnai playing in your heart. (It’s saying ‘you’re happy’ and not ‘you should get married’.)

PS. I’m the liking-old-kind-of-weddings person. I like to dance on dhol and shehnai rather than dj (exception: Atul Dada’s garba) I like old wedding songs where old grannys curse the bride or the groom, whoever is on the opposite side. I like to throw flowers towards bride and groom literally disturbing them in the 7फेरे rather than sitting on a chair and greeting them with flower petals. No, I don’t like musicals ringing in background but the voice of people chattering. I know I’m old-school but I love it. This should be preserved as people are missing out from the actual celebration. Let me know what you like in weddings and how you like it – new tradition or old one.