Perhaps it’s all in my mind; perhaps not.
What really is this world and why should we be sane to define this insanity? If we don’t know the real meaning of the world and the life, then aren’t we the only creatures who are insane? Because at one point we think we are smart enough to decide what we are: a human who can invent those things which make his life easier at living (read: miserable)
Okay… Let me come to the point. The way we live is exactly what we have thought in our mind. We say we’re tired of this summer; see, we got our AC. But have we really got anything from our life? The way to live is what we have achieved but the way of how to live can not be.
Remember, you were born crying. Even if you had the knowledge of whole of the universe, about the galaxy explosion, and about the time and the light speed, you still weren’t able to express it. Now, when you’re a grown up, an adult with sillier problems which you think are the centre of the universe, do you really think you’re gonna express it even after knowing the solution? When you thought that your neighbours are pain in the eyes, you knew the solution that either you have to take steps like making them so frustrated that they would leave the house or find a new home for your own self. Now, even after knowing the solution, did you do that? Well, I must say you surely took another option of not doing a thing about your solution and start complaining about them in front of whoever visits your house! (Damn you! Stop wasting your time and your relatives’. And stop sacrificing your health and blood pressure for God’s sake!)
How nice would it be if you could turn the volume up so high that the neighbours would understand themselves! How lively would it be to find someone as crazy as you that you both would dance in the rain without thinking of the others. When my mind says ‘run’, from the situation I know I’m not handling well and from the situations about to follow, I should run but I don’t. Reading the nonfiction motivational books and following the quotes said by great men which are only applicable in their lives, I think somewhere we have lost the meaning of living our life on our own terms. Looking at those who run from their works are definitely some negative persons but sometimes there are people who would have done better if they would have just left from the place they didn’t belong to.
At one time of your life, you say to your parents that you’ll only marry the girl you are in love with; and after a few years, you are afraid to leave her. The moment when there was the pressure of the whole world (I mean, society which is the world to you and esp to your parents) but you still won the situation. Now when you want to divorce her, you feel more pressure even after getting the freedom. “Bola tha na, arrange marriage is the best!”, “Suna? Woh Padosh ke Verma-ji ka beta abhi divorce le rahaa hai… Apne Ma-Baap se aise jagdo toh yahi honewala tha n!”, “Naak kata di tumhare bete ne!”… Aren’t you afraid of these rather than being on your own after your wife will leave you!?
“I have hopes from you.” My Paa once said, just a few days ago. It was not merely me passing my last year saying that I wished to complete my under graduation and then putting a clear step towards my goals (Mind me, one of my goals was to become a doctor; but then, of course, there are other goals which are more worthy to me!), but my family too had some of the same goals...
I’ve become an introvert, but most of the times, I’m still an extrovert. People have changed the meaning of the word. Yes, I talk much more than the introverts, but it doesn’t only mean in way of speaking, but expressing too. There were times, when I had regretted my decisions (and I proudly accept them); when I thought I could be better if I would have expressed myself better. So, being insane, for me, is being an extrovert. And we all should be, to show how beautiful we’re inside out, how honest we are to them as well as to self.
Miracle! I found two meanings of insanity: with and without soundness of mind! I will of course feel ashamed being a medical internee and a writer for the slightest of sanity in me, which I’m in search of, so that I can wash it away. After all, talking to an unknown person looking at you, calling a known person to "actually" know how's life going, and being a non-busy friend, is insane!
Philosophy time: It’s only after you’ve lost everything, you’re free to do anything!
-Fight Club
I still have too many things to lose. But perhaps, I don’t want to be free. Perhaps, I’m insane enough to fight for no reason at all. And who knows, one day I’ll come back to my senses, when I’ll be brave and extrovert enough for not crossing these lines out above, when I’ll be what I’ve dreamed of my life!
